Not Quite A Glass Ceiling

From time to time I'm forced to recognize my own short commings. While perception of something has a great deal to do with what something is, or isn't, if you agree with someone elses perception of you denial will only get you so far before you just have to own up to it.

I'm lazy. I don't want to be, but I am. I'm not competitave either. I don't like it when people are better than I am, but the fact is I don't care enough to make sure I'm better than someone else. Doing my "personal best" isn't a thought that enters my mind very often. Infact the "make due" mentality controls me so much that I don't even have a regular laundry day.

Here at 4:40am on the 8th of march 2007 I realize that it really is me holding me back. I see the opportunities to excell and don't take them. Nothing keeps me in bed, I know I can shake off the tired feeling, go eat, get some working out done, or practice something or read or anything at all, but instead I choose to sleep.

I blame my inability on outside factors when really the problem is internal. Not only is it internal, nothing is broken. I just don't do things.

I need to finish the things I start before I take on any more. I need to stop lying to myself thinking I'll get to it. If I think that, I'll never do anything.