I've been thinkin alot lately about the best way to determain a course of action. It seems like I can't quite find the northern horizon to get my bearings. I'm trying to figure out a way to develope some sense of direction. I know what I want in life, I have it mapped, I just need a way to stay centered on the map, and thats the hard part I can't seem to find a single point that I can triangulate from. It's becomming more and more of a concern too. I know I can function, as of late I've developed an incredible sense of adaptability, which I attribute to joining a band outside my normal frame of music, and my time spent studying swordsmanship with Nathan. Both of these things have forced me to examine what I know, and how it can work for the present situation, instead of what they were originally designed for.

It's the kind of adaptability you have as a child, if you can't have fun with what you want the way you want, you find another way. I can't tell you how many times I was one lincoln log short or had a few too many legos and just had to improvise something. I'm slowly learning - or relearning rather, how to do that with my life. I wish I knew where I developed such unconditional acceptance of the world around me, I turned into a drone somehow, and I don't know how or why. What I do know is I've found a way to get it back and strangely enough, it was the answer i wanted. I just didn't recognize it. I'd always talked about being someone great and known, respect, etc. Always wanted to do great things in the world and be in charge. I realized while recording today that I am in charge, I just haven't been doing anything.