I've come to find that the vast majority of my thought and effort, planning and dillegence with my job are ultimately wasted, again. Today I found out they aren't promoting anyone, but consolidating Teams. I've lost my window of opportunity to be promoted to full Team Lead status again. This time through no fault of my own - theres simply not room in the budget. I'm told that one of the moderately higher bosses, the guy who hired me acctually, wants to talk to me on monday morning. I can't even begin to imagine what he wants me for. I don't know that it matters much though.

I went camping thinkin "yeah, great time with my friends, gonna roast some hotdogs, get back to work, and I'll finally be a team leader." - No love. Infact, I didn't even get a birthday present. Karly was the only one goodly enough to get me anything, and she made it herself, it's printed out on my desk, the "Karly Bear". At least she cared. It's just one of those weeks I guess. I solved a Koan, made some progress with the band, went camping, didn't get promoted. I suppose 3 out of 4 isn't bad, but I'm get up with B- quality life. There has to be someway to get passed this block. I know the answer, I just can't get an opening with out stepping on someones toes and being a jerk. Just in the amount of time that I've been back I've already noticed the entire team has been looking at me like I'm going to snap or something. Makes me wonder what they know that I don't, even though it's fairly obvious they're happy I'm not their boss. Nathan in particular I don't trust when he speaks now. Suddenly today when there were no keys it was "his responsibility to get the keys from tech and change the tapes" as if suddenly he was given my job. I didn't get a promotion notice in my email with his name on it, and I haven't been told, emailed, or informed by management that I've been demoted.

People see power, and they fight for it with daggers - it's sad. But in either case, I suppose I'll just stick to my guns - I know my job, my position, and rank, and how to do them all. And it's not like I've got another job to go running off too either.