I suppose I should explain the name for this blog. Zen... It's a word that pretty much stands for englightened. Taoism is the understanding of Zen more or less, and Zen is the practice of Tao. The practicing of Zen is called Zazen. So to "Tao" on is "tao-ing" but rather "zen-ing" but "zazen" is the correct term. The three pillars of zen take three principles of the Tao Te Ching and and use them as a basis for which one my triangulate thier way to enlightenment. This is Za-Zen, or Taoing. Why this blog is called Zen, is because it's my understanding of the world around me - specifically that of other people - my "friends". Zen was already taken, but "zazen" was not, and as this where I record what I learn, it is in a sense, my own form of "zazen". So for those of you who know really know me. You'll have already known that, and in such a manner found this. I trust you'll use the information here wisely.. it takes a great deal of effort to be keen enough to figure me out - or so I credit myself. At any rate - you're in my mind, do watch where you step.
Saturday, January 19, 2002
Todays entry is for Karly.
Rather then bash around the facts like I normally do when analyzing someone I'll just post todays conversation with her. She's far sharper than I'd originally thought... Just wary of the sharpening stone of knowledge, but she's moving towards it on her own at a remarkable pace. I'm impressed. She continually tries to figure me out not knowing that I'm not at all what I appear to be.
Her ability to see right through me is astounding, but unfortunately the me she see's is the me she created within her self based on what she knows. Though she is slowly starting to learn to question what something is as well as what it isn't... She's tenaticious beyond anything I've ever seen before. But so frail. I helped her learn how to think a bit... She guessed Jeffs password on her own. She's a smart one, not to be trifled with. Had I never met her she'd have probably turned out the same though... She's a remarkable person. Appearently she thinks highly of me, or atleast the me she has built up in her mind. I am nothing but empty space. Emotions play little part, if any, in my life. There are relatively few things that move me to do anything. The bulk of what is me isn't me at all. It's the expecations of others I attempt to live up to. However, knowing I am not a shell of expectations I receed from that kind of life and pressure. Karly on the other hand uses that shell to mold what she is, but constantly exceeds those barriers with who she is. A very progressive mind is at work that doesn't get stuck very often, it's amazing to see a person like this at this stage in their life. There are very few who can stay centered, even though it's not a difficult task. She's not on center yet, but she's very very close to finding herself.
Sir Ukyo: http://about.com/aboutindia/
Sir Ukyo: that should be allll the info you need.
Sir Ukyo: you can search that site for onu as well.
Karly chan: ^_^ i already did,... thank you a lot!
Sir Ukyo: ^_~
Sir Ukyo: I'll go look at my porn now *l*
Karly chan: O_o
Karly chan: ~L~ uhhhhh
Sir Ukyo: (thats a joke luv)
Karly chan: www.agozar.com its in spanish.. my dad seems to like it
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: o0?
Karly chan: nm
Karly chan: im just bugging
Sir Ukyo: *lmao*
Karly chan: its a famous site in my school
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: jayzez...
Karly chan: i kid, i kid
Sir Ukyo: *lmao* this site sure isn't kiddin *l*
Karly chan: ~lol~
Karly chan: i know ;_;
Karly chan: they where like
Karly chan: go look at that site
Karly chan: its fun!
Karly chan: and i thought
Karly chan: hey..some nifty game
Sir Ukyo: *l*
Karly chan: ...... damn them for making me see porn!
Karly chan: ~l~
Karly chan: but that was waaaay back
Karly chan: .. i HOPE your not looking through it!
Sir Ukyo: No *l* I closed it.
Karly chan: good ~L~
Sir Ukyo: Mesa know many better places anyhow *l*
Karly chan: ~LMAO~
Karly chan: YES
Karly chan: i know
Karly chan: what men do!
Sir Ukyo: *l* Not all men.
Karly chan: and how they exchange porn sites!!!
Sir Ukyo: Just the single ones.
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: STILL
Sir Ukyo: *l*
Karly chan: on chats, irl .. cuz when i hang out with guys its like that!!
Karly chan: " hhey dude.. go to this site..its free"
Karly chan: >_<
Karly chan: damn men!
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles*
Karly chan: and dont deny it! i know they do ~L~
Sir Ukyo: Never said they didn't.
Karly chan: ~LOL~
Karly chan: oy @_@
Sir Ukyo: *l*
Karly chan: ~LOL~
Karly chan: fucked up
Karly chan: on bbc
Karly chan: they're giving mud wrestling
Karly chan: with women dressed up in different religions
Karly chan: rabbi
Karly chan: priests
Karly chan: islam
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: o0 odd
Karly chan: yes
Karly chan: very
Karly chan: anyhow
Karly chan: ..~leers at your porn watching SELF! ~
Sir Ukyo: o0 *isn't watching or looking at porn. - Rather "Jo's" art work*
Karly chan: I NEED TO ASK SOMething
Karly chan: ... why do men watch porn?
Karly chan: i mean
Karly chan: when i saw porn.. i just bursted out laughing.. was like... " dear god that woman holds her breast as if she had seen them for the first time!!".... why Oo;
Sir Ukyo: The conecpt that a woman exists in perfection with accordances to a mans personal preferances is a contunual search that just about every male finds facinating.
Sir Ukyo: Because of this men invent new things for women to do and new ways for them to appear - hence the outrageous industry that Pornography has become today.
Karly chan: but they give such a horrible image to women... and.. make sex less interesting.. its like.. you see it and .. its like.. oh.. so thats it?
Sir Ukyo: Some of it is tasteful, possibly even artistic, some of it is trashy distasteful lude vulgar and inexplicably behine in nature.
Sir Ukyo: However - reguardless of where the facination comes from - the the beholder, it's the facination that matters.
Karly chan: like..for example
Karly chan: deep throat
Karly chan: ... O_o.... i mean
Karly chan: dont they choke?!?!?
Karly chan: Oo;
Karly chan: hasn't anyone died cuz of that!?!
Karly chan: sorry to talk about these themes.. i mean.. not many guys are open to a conversation like this with a girl..im just very curious @_@
Sir Ukyo: As I said, it's based on facination - some men feel compelled to find a woman who has (or appears to have) an inexhaustable desire to suck on their penis in every possible way.
Sir Ukyo: Women are humans too - and if you put enough money in front of them, they'll do just about anything for it.
Karly chan: @_@ i say.. ppl are siiiick
Karly chan: yeah well.. i cant judge them
Karly chan: god knows the thing they pass through
Karly chan: its just sad
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles* Why shouldn't you judge them?
Karly chan: ok.. like, lets say she has 3 children, her man left her, she's working too hard and is still underpayed, but they offer her a job, to sell out her body in a safe way , and get loads of money
Karly chan: .... you cant blame some of them
Karly chan: notice the word.. -some-
Sir Ukyo: *chuckle* If a woman had 3 childen and her man left I'd say she made some poor judgments in her life anyhow. I still wouldn't think much of her even if that was her particular circumstance.
Sir Ukyo: I would think far less of the man though.
Sir Ukyo: Someone willing to abandon 4 people.... Aku Soku Zan for that one.
Karly chan: sadly will.. the world nowadays doesnt think like that ._.
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles* Who says the world is any means of confinement?
Karly chan: um.. you?
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: Oh?
Karly chan: no ~L~ i just wanted to blame someone
Karly chan: i dunno... not the world.. society.. i guess
Sir Ukyo: I see, so by saying that - you admit to yourself you are your own means of confinement.
Sir Ukyo: what one thinks, compared to what the many think - radically different. Strikingly similar.
Karly chan: @_@ im getting confused
Sir Ukyo: Karly - your readiness to blame me as a source of confinement only proves what confines you is yourself.
Karly chan: it does??... i'd just thought it be entertaining.. o_o im sorry
Sir Ukyo: I do find it entertaining ^_~
Sir Ukyo: Remember... Saito, Hiko, Aoshi.... Possibly even Shishio reside in my mind.
Sir Ukyo: ^_~ Don't take what you see as a friend for granted.
Karly chan: ~L~ i just wanted to blame you.. see what happened... i dunno will.... like... society, in a sense, is just messed up... who confines it, i dunt know
Karly chan: for granted?
Sir Ukyo: Karly since I've known you, you've always considered me a friend...
Karly chan: .. im sorry.. i just dont understand ;_;... i can understand so much of english but then the important things i cant
Karly chan: oh
Sir Ukyo: You take it for granted when you say things like "yer mah hero" and "remind me not to piss you off"
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles* Relax, I know you understand my english.
Karly chan: i try to
Karly chan: you just confusing me right now
Karly chan: for... example... i take you for granted
Karly chan: what does that mean?
Sir Ukyo: *chuckels* It appears I've unvailed a concept you don't yet understand.
Sir Ukyo: Karly, what do you think of me?
Sir Ukyo: In every sense - what is your conclusion about Tachi?
Karly chan: i dunno..im trying to find out
Sir Ukyo: Am I a nice man? Am I a fool? Am I funny? Am I intelligent.
Sir Ukyo: Ask yourself - what do I really know about him...
Sir Ukyo: Who is he... etc.
Sir Ukyo: These are things I ask myself about you at every chance I get to see you.
Sir Ukyo: I make sure I know who and what you are so I know where you'll be and who you'll be incase I ever have to find you - incase I ever need you, or incase I ever just... want you.
Sir Ukyo: These are the questions we fource ourselves to ask if we want to know someone - to really know them.
Sir Ukyo: To not take someone for granted is to take into acount what something is, and what it will become - and why.
Karly chan: ..ok.. ~clears throat~ ... in all reality, i really don't know you.. you can be someone's best friend , or worst enemy ... kind when needed, realisticly harsh when needed also. The way you think..no.. see things in such a different perspective... a pandora box.... of sorts.. you never know what might come out... and now let me read all your posting
Sir Ukyo: With people many moe questions come into play and it's not at all easy to find these answers.
Karly chan: i sort of understand now
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles* Katie said nearly those same words as in your paragraph...
Karly chan: ...really?
Karly chan: now im frightened
Karly chan: lemme write something before you post anything
Karly chan: Im sure you know some part of me... but at the same time you dont.. as well as myself... i can only know so much about you... but in all reality we need to be honest... some things over internet one can fake so easily..for example..i could tell you i understand something you say when i dont..or so could you..do you really know who i am?
Karly chan: do you really know the way i think?
Karly chan: you can say to yourself.. sure.. she cares.. sure she is kind.. but am i really?
Karly chan: .. maybe im just an idiot pretending to be something im not
Karly chan: same to you... somethings the internet can hide so well
Karly chan: now
Karly chan: the things i said
Karly chan: whether they where exactly like katie's or not
Karly chan: thats what i see in you
Karly chan: because in all reality,i've only seen some parts of you
Karly chan: whether you say
Karly chan: you have shown everything
Karly chan: or not
Sir Ukyo: "you can say to yourself.. sure.. she cares.. sure she is kind.. but am i really?"
Sir Ukyo: "but am i really?"
Karly chan: well, one can only see one thing at a time, to fully understand
Sir Ukyo: Except... what I ask myself about you is "but is she really...?"
Sir Ukyo: Nonsense. I see many things at one time...
Karly chan: im just making you question your views
Karly chan: really?
Karly chan: your special then.. ^^ im sorta slow at times
Sir Ukyo: *nods*
Karly chan: sometimes..i say things.. when i look back on them... im just like.. what?
Karly chan: .. one thing you should know about me
Sir Ukyo: You see Karly, the making of a person isn't based soley on how they behave or think.
Sir Ukyo: To understand this is to watch their thoughts and actiosn go aganst eachother.
Sir Ukyo: Take jeff. He says he is my friend, but clearly behaves otherwise.
Sir Ukyo: When he does what he thinks it seldoms succeeds because he doesn't understand that doing what your thinking is what and who you really are.
Karly chan: .. even if i do seem at your same mental level, or our conversations never cease, or sometimes, i seem like if im mature or whatever... ... im just learning.. i still need to take my steps
Sir Ukyo: The shock of seeing who and what he really is propells him further into his own turmoil.
Karly chan: i sorta understand
Sir Ukyo: I'm not saying you are on my level, or on a different level or trying to deny you your life or trying to change the way you live.
Sir Ukyo: All I'm saying is that I can see you take some things for granted.
Karly chan: ..well.. dont worry about the if i really am caring part..... and what do i see in you.. well.. will, or tachi.. i really love you for who you are... whether your evil, good, caring, wise, or maybe just big fat idiot and your posting fast ~L~ let me keep uppp!!
Karly chan: ok... thats just it.. what does.. granted mean?
Sir Ukyo: Granted means you assume something is what it is, and that what it is never changes.
Sir Ukyo: Like oh say... a Rock.
Sir Ukyo: ^_~
Sir Ukyo: The truth behind a rock is that it's only a fragement of a larger whole - a peice of someting.
Sir Ukyo: In ordr to become that rock it's gone through many many many changes.
Sir Ukyo: but to the average joe it's just something that is in the way, stubs the toes, and holds down loose papers.
Sir Ukyo: But a rock is far more... ^_~
Karly chan: no.. i..im sorry.. i dont think i take you for granted.. friendship wise.. does.. that mean i dont consider you as an evolving human being?..... i blamed you just to bug.. to bother.. im sorry if it was wrong... i told you your my hero.. because in that moment you where... ahh.... i dont even know what im saying.. im too afraid to sound like a big idiot to you that im starting to babble.. you wanna know something?.. i really admire you.. the way you are.. i see the change in you, how persistant you are.. and all sorts.. i'll shut up now... o_o
Sir Ukyo: Are you ready for a confession?
Karly chan: yes
Sir Ukyo: *hugs you and swings you around* ^_^ I'm JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!
Sir Ukyo: *lmao*
Karly chan: ò_ó
Karly chan: all this
Karly chan: and your kidding?
Karly chan: .. YOU MADE ME DOUBT YOU!
Sir Ukyo: Though the concept above is true and sound - it was allll based on a humor ^_^
Sir Ukyo: *lol*
Karly chan: YOU MADEME DOUBT MYSELF
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: i hate you now
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: No - you made you doubt you *l*
Karly chan: EXACTLY
Sir Ukyo: All I did was hold up that same mirror that showed you how beautiful you were.
Sir Ukyo: Remember that?
Karly chan: .... um.. yeah
Karly chan: well
Karly chan: ~SLAP~
Karly chan: BITCH
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: but you know something
Karly chan: you really are a pandora box
Sir Ukyo: I know alot of things ^_^
Sir Ukyo: *l* are you saying I have big hips?
Karly chan: yes
Karly chan: o.o
Sir Ukyo: *compares self in mirror* O_O! I"M FAT!
Karly chan: O_o;
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: no man
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles*
Karly chan: your way beyond fat
Karly chan: mmm
Karly chan: wait
Karly chan: something isnt fair here
Sir Ukyo: oh dear... I"m a behemoth
Sir Ukyo: o0 *breaks out buns of bronze*
Karly chan: you got half of my thoughts on what i think of you
Karly chan: .. you should do the same
Karly chan: its only fair
Sir Ukyo: and step and turn and jump and squeal and cry and diet and eat no meals.
Sir Ukyo: o0
Karly chan: and you know so!
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: oo
Karly chan: womanly diets are HORRIBLE
Karly chan: @_@
Sir Ukyo: *lol*
Sir Ukyo: So you want to know what I realy think of Karly?
Karly chan: yes
Karly chan: its only fair
Karly chan: at least
Karly chan: half of it
Karly chan: like i did
Sir Ukyo: Oh is it now? *lol*
Karly chan: yeah
Sir Ukyo: True words aren't pleasent, and pleasent words aren't true...
Sir Ukyo: Fortunately for you - if you want half and half I can talke one half of column A and half of column B and you shouldn't be to greatly dissapointed with yourself.
Sir Ukyo: ^_~ tricky how that works.
Karly chan: not every pleasent word isnt true.. some of it might be.. some of it might not
Karly chan: ~L~ oh so your'e saying that you think horrible things of me? @_@
Sir Ukyo: Have I said anything to that effect?
Karly chan: column A good
Karly chan: column B bad
Karly chan: Oo
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: i dunno
Karly chan: @_@
Sir Ukyo: No - I said one was pleasant , one was not.
Sir Ukyo: Be that good or bad to you is a relative term.
Karly chan: exactly.. it just makes me curious what do you really think of me
Sir Ukyo: Who knows how you'll feel about what something is? Only you...
Karly chan: yeah
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles* well let me tell you then.
Karly chan: ~nod~
Sir Ukyo: *puts a finger on your lips* Sssshhh...
Sir Ukyo: When I speak with you, I see something I can identify with... I see a young woman who is unsure of herself, as I am.
Sir Ukyo: I see a young woman who knows her bounds as a person, but doesn't accept them, because she is greedy.
Sir Ukyo: She wants more....
Sir Ukyo: I see someone who embodies passion, someone who simply -is- expression...
Sir Ukyo: She is frail and beautiful as the Lotus, strong and supple as bamboo...
Sir Ukyo: Knowing when to bend, and when to stand firm.
Sir Ukyo: But surrounding by a forest of so many other things which she can see, but not completely understand, the edges of who she is can be blurred from time to time...
Sir Ukyo: This is not to say that she's lost in her own disolusions, but rather she has yet to grow taller and stonger to gain perspective on the world around her...
Sir Ukyo: yet, she is able to peer though the canopy of the heavens and see what else lies beyond her own premonitions about the world...
Sir Ukyo: Those same insights cause her to blur farther, because she has not yet learned how to understand some of the things she is aware of... It keeps her slightly off balance...
Sir Ukyo: It causes self boubt, lack of confidence.... the bamboo bends over the lake and she sees herself.
Sir Ukyo: She only sees herself when she is miserable, and what she sees is what she feels she is...
Sir Ukyo: When she with draws ans stands tall again, she is stil unaware and leery of her own being because the only record of what she's is - is what she's seen of herself in such a sad state...
Sir Ukyo: But to those around her, she is beauftiful, she is smart..
Sir Ukyo: Carring and kind, willing to bear the burdens that others face with near unconditional respect and toleration because she hopes should she ever need - the same will be granted her...
Sir Ukyo: But then again.. she simply is what she is... a Bamboo tree that grows ivy and Lotus Flowers...
Sir Ukyo: Be that good or bad... it's up to her, it doesn't have to be either...
Sir Ukyo: She doesn't have to stay this way... she doesn't have to change either. She is who she is, and she can be what ever she'd like to be if she's willing to do what it takes to be what she desires..
Sir Ukyo: And lately... she's been growing like a weed ^_~
Sir Ukyo: There then - thats half of each column.
Karly chan: .. maybe..maybe its lost...... maybe it ..doesnt know where or what to do.. so many options.. .... well.. it doesnt matter.. that completely blew off my description of yourself..so.. when you least expect it, one day, i'll show up with a 5 page essay showing on who i see you as... o_o.. heh..jk... well... i dont know.. weed grows easy, lotus doesnt... maybe all she needs is to find a right direction.. its confusing in the forest...
Sir Ukyo: I suppose...
Sir Ukyo: But then again... it all depends on how you think.
Karly chan: well.. i must hand it to you.. in any case, it made me blush.. i never blush for things like this..i think i did.. the little.. prickly things that you feel in your cheek.. yeah thats it
Karly chan: maybe
Sir Ukyo: My problem is I know how to think in too many ways. Too much knowledge can be a burden at times. At others, it's an escape to a place where no one could ever find you..
Sir Ukyo: *lol* Well, blushing or not, I consider you a close friend none the less.
Karly chan: yeah.... in all its descriptions... all its splendor and beauty..in simple words... whether..i take you for granted, whether i grow weeds..it doesnt matter...i just like you will.. i just want you to be my friend.. thats all
Karly chan: ..and hey..if i keep growing weed.. we could sell those for people to get high with O_o
Sir Ukyo: Growing like a weed doesn't necesscarily mean you're growing "weed" or that you are a weed *l* - You've an odd sense of interpitational humor.
Karly chan: ~L~ i know, im just kidding
Sir Ukyo: ^_~
Karly chan: well.. at least i know half
Karly chan: and you frighten me
Sir Ukyo: Oh? Frightening am I? How Marvelous of me...
Karly chan: the only other person that knows so much about me is my best friend ari..its because we've shared so much.. and.. notin the wrong way >.<... but.. you know so much... when i havent really said much
Karly chan: you really are an excellent observer
Karly chan: not in thebad way!
Sir Ukyo: ^_~
Sir Ukyo: It's all just information to me. Some of it I like some if it I don't - but it's all just information.
Sir Ukyo: Thats all anything really is. *l*
Karly chan: its actually interesting.. you'd take up so much time to analyse someone.. maybe one day i could follow your example...
Karly chan: still...
Sir Ukyo: Understanding what it is, and then knowing what to do about it - thats teh tricky part.
Karly chan: yeah
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles* I leave subtle hints about who and what I am in everything I do ...
Karly chan: ^^;.. knowing your growing weeds......but then not really sure where.. that too
Karly chan: .. everyone says im changing..im just seeing things differently... maybe for better or wors
Karly chan: worst
Karly chan: but... i guess thats a part of life
Sir Ukyo: Very very few people pick up on these hints though. One would have to think like me to make sense of the clues I leave behind. much less be able to recognize those clues.
Sir Ukyo: Part of life it is indeed.
Karly chan: i see
Sir Ukyo: ^_^ Trust me. When my lifes work is complete you'll probably recognize your part in it *lol*
Sir Ukyo: But up till the day I die, I don't think anyone will understand more than half of me *l*
Sir Ukyo: If that *l*
Karly chan: i'll be more alert then... i'll need to start figuring out.. who will is... who is this strange man who keeps telling me things that confuses me!!
Sir Ukyo: After all - I am a genous ^_~
Karly chan: my part in your life?
Karly chan: i hope its good
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: I KNOW WHO YOU ARE
Sir Ukyo: *lol* Of course you know who I am *l* - but do you know me *grin*
Karly chan: YOUR WIL .E COYOTE!! the dude who says im a genious in road runner!!
Karly chan: im kidding
Sir Ukyo: ^_~ so am I.
Karly chan: but you know what
Karly chan: everytime
Karly chan: i believe i got to know who you where
Karly chan: you just say something to completely destroy that belief!
Karly chan: its like..a construction
Karly chan: your the.. disaster that destroys it ~L~
Karly chan: jk as well
Sir Ukyo: *lol*
Sir Ukyo: No... ^_~ I'm just information - what you think of me is up to you to destroy and create. The image of who and what I am in your mind was put there by you, only you can destroy it. ^_~
Sir Ukyo: but you can put my name on it and call me the demolition man *l*
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: nah
Karly chan: i'd rather call you will ^^
Karly chan: the pandora box
Sir Ukyo: *sniff* Tachi?
Sir Ukyo: *is reallly gonna change his name some day *l* *reeeely*\
Karly chan: hmm.. tachi is the name you give yourself... but..for now your real name is will
Karly chan: so
Karly chan: i'll call you will as long as you wear that name
Karly chan: when you change it to Tachi, then tachi i'll call you
Karly chan: ^^
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles*
Sir Ukyo: Fair enough. You're new and better name is Bob *l*
Karly chan: NO! ~SPAPS~ my real name is karla! and untill i decide to change it you WILL call me KARLA
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: *weep* damn
Sir Ukyo: ^_~
Karly chan: .. you wanna know something?.. in your words
Karly chan: ..are you ready for a confession?
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: *lol* sure...
Karly chan: in all reality, i think very highly of you.. so much to a point that i might admire... to me your way of seeing things irs very important.. same as how you see me... its important to me.. dont ask why, because i dont know myself... @_@ but it is.... there! Oo;
Sir Ukyo: *chuckels* I seee.
Karly chan: you see>
Karly chan: really?
Karly chan: Oo
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: ^^
Sir Ukyo: *puzzled expression* - How else could I read the screen? *grin*
Karly chan: oi
Karly chan: well.. thats it... o_o now, i hope you understand.
Karly chan: if not then.. you suck Oo;
Sir Ukyo: ^_~ I understand.
Sir Ukyo: Now watch as I attempt to overstand *falls* damnit...
Karly chan: ~L~ ~claps for a cheesy joke~ cute
Karly chan: @)@
Sir Ukyo: ^_~ You're too kind.
Karly chan: maybe..maybe not
Karly chan: o.o
Karly chan: who knows
Karly chan: ~twilight zone music playing in background~
Karly chan: OOOOOOH
Karly chan: ~l~
Sir Ukyo: ^_~
Karly chan: http://4.43.163.60/
Karly chan: i have no clue what it is.. they just sent it to me
Karly chan: must be funny
Karly chan: nm
Sir Ukyo: a fat chick just flashed me... O_O
Karly chan: i dunt know what that is
Karly chan: WHAT!?
Sir Ukyo: it's a naughty naughty web cam fulla fat asses *l*
Karly chan: WHAT!?!?!?
Karly chan: O.O
Karly chan: i dont see anything!!
Sir Ukyo: It's java feed.
Karly chan: uh
Karly chan: nm
Karly chan: dude
Sir Ukyo: takes time to load and when it does... *shudder* sheild thine eyes...
Karly chan: its a friend
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: i know her
Sir Ukyo: o0 is she fat and prone to exposing her breasts to completely strangers?
Karly chan: o_o
Karly chan: i think i wasnt supposed to show that to you
Karly chan: ~l~
Sir Ukyo: *shudder* the horror... *closes window*
Karly chan: yes thank you
Sir Ukyo: Yes well.. I'm willing to forget it if you are...
Karly chan: ~L~ yes
Karly chan: i will
-----
The middle section is pobably the best measurement of her intelligence - but her willingness to apologise and accept defeat or an inferior status shows me she's not yet centered, not sure in who and what she is... But she's getting there...
Rather then bash around the facts like I normally do when analyzing someone I'll just post todays conversation with her. She's far sharper than I'd originally thought... Just wary of the sharpening stone of knowledge, but she's moving towards it on her own at a remarkable pace. I'm impressed. She continually tries to figure me out not knowing that I'm not at all what I appear to be.
Her ability to see right through me is astounding, but unfortunately the me she see's is the me she created within her self based on what she knows. Though she is slowly starting to learn to question what something is as well as what it isn't... She's tenaticious beyond anything I've ever seen before. But so frail. I helped her learn how to think a bit... She guessed Jeffs password on her own. She's a smart one, not to be trifled with. Had I never met her she'd have probably turned out the same though... She's a remarkable person. Appearently she thinks highly of me, or atleast the me she has built up in her mind. I am nothing but empty space. Emotions play little part, if any, in my life. There are relatively few things that move me to do anything. The bulk of what is me isn't me at all. It's the expecations of others I attempt to live up to. However, knowing I am not a shell of expectations I receed from that kind of life and pressure. Karly on the other hand uses that shell to mold what she is, but constantly exceeds those barriers with who she is. A very progressive mind is at work that doesn't get stuck very often, it's amazing to see a person like this at this stage in their life. There are very few who can stay centered, even though it's not a difficult task. She's not on center yet, but she's very very close to finding herself.
Sir Ukyo: http://about.com/aboutindia/
Sir Ukyo: that should be allll the info you need.
Sir Ukyo: you can search that site for onu as well.
Karly chan: ^_^ i already did,... thank you a lot!
Sir Ukyo: ^_~
Sir Ukyo: I'll go look at my porn now *l*
Karly chan: O_o
Karly chan: ~L~ uhhhhh
Sir Ukyo: (thats a joke luv)
Karly chan: www.agozar.com its in spanish.. my dad seems to like it
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: o0?
Karly chan: nm
Karly chan: im just bugging
Sir Ukyo: *lmao*
Karly chan: its a famous site in my school
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: jayzez...
Karly chan: i kid, i kid
Sir Ukyo: *lmao* this site sure isn't kiddin *l*
Karly chan: ~lol~
Karly chan: i know ;_;
Karly chan: they where like
Karly chan: go look at that site
Karly chan: its fun!
Karly chan: and i thought
Karly chan: hey..some nifty game
Sir Ukyo: *l*
Karly chan: ...... damn them for making me see porn!
Karly chan: ~l~
Karly chan: but that was waaaay back
Karly chan: .. i HOPE your not looking through it!
Sir Ukyo: No *l* I closed it.
Karly chan: good ~L~
Sir Ukyo: Mesa know many better places anyhow *l*
Karly chan: ~LMAO~
Karly chan: YES
Karly chan: i know
Karly chan: what men do!
Sir Ukyo: *l* Not all men.
Karly chan: and how they exchange porn sites!!!
Sir Ukyo: Just the single ones.
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: STILL
Sir Ukyo: *l*
Karly chan: on chats, irl .. cuz when i hang out with guys its like that!!
Karly chan: " hhey dude.. go to this site..its free"
Karly chan: >_<
Karly chan: damn men!
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles*
Karly chan: and dont deny it! i know they do ~L~
Sir Ukyo: Never said they didn't.
Karly chan: ~LOL~
Karly chan: oy @_@
Sir Ukyo: *l*
Karly chan: ~LOL~
Karly chan: fucked up
Karly chan: on bbc
Karly chan: they're giving mud wrestling
Karly chan: with women dressed up in different religions
Karly chan: rabbi
Karly chan: priests
Karly chan: islam
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: o0 odd
Karly chan: yes
Karly chan: very
Karly chan: anyhow
Karly chan: ..~leers at your porn watching SELF! ~
Sir Ukyo: o0 *isn't watching or looking at porn. - Rather "Jo's" art work*
Karly chan: I NEED TO ASK SOMething
Karly chan: ... why do men watch porn?
Karly chan: i mean
Karly chan: when i saw porn.. i just bursted out laughing.. was like... " dear god that woman holds her breast as if she had seen them for the first time!!".... why Oo;
Sir Ukyo: The conecpt that a woman exists in perfection with accordances to a mans personal preferances is a contunual search that just about every male finds facinating.
Sir Ukyo: Because of this men invent new things for women to do and new ways for them to appear - hence the outrageous industry that Pornography has become today.
Karly chan: but they give such a horrible image to women... and.. make sex less interesting.. its like.. you see it and .. its like.. oh.. so thats it?
Sir Ukyo: Some of it is tasteful, possibly even artistic, some of it is trashy distasteful lude vulgar and inexplicably behine in nature.
Sir Ukyo: However - reguardless of where the facination comes from - the the beholder, it's the facination that matters.
Karly chan: like..for example
Karly chan: deep throat
Karly chan: ... O_o.... i mean
Karly chan: dont they choke?!?!?
Karly chan: Oo;
Karly chan: hasn't anyone died cuz of that!?!
Karly chan: sorry to talk about these themes.. i mean.. not many guys are open to a conversation like this with a girl..im just very curious @_@
Sir Ukyo: As I said, it's based on facination - some men feel compelled to find a woman who has (or appears to have) an inexhaustable desire to suck on their penis in every possible way.
Sir Ukyo: Women are humans too - and if you put enough money in front of them, they'll do just about anything for it.
Karly chan: @_@ i say.. ppl are siiiick
Karly chan: yeah well.. i cant judge them
Karly chan: god knows the thing they pass through
Karly chan: its just sad
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles* Why shouldn't you judge them?
Karly chan: ok.. like, lets say she has 3 children, her man left her, she's working too hard and is still underpayed, but they offer her a job, to sell out her body in a safe way , and get loads of money
Karly chan: .... you cant blame some of them
Karly chan: notice the word.. -some-
Sir Ukyo: *chuckle* If a woman had 3 childen and her man left I'd say she made some poor judgments in her life anyhow. I still wouldn't think much of her even if that was her particular circumstance.
Sir Ukyo: I would think far less of the man though.
Sir Ukyo: Someone willing to abandon 4 people.... Aku Soku Zan for that one.
Karly chan: sadly will.. the world nowadays doesnt think like that ._.
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles* Who says the world is any means of confinement?
Karly chan: um.. you?
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: Oh?
Karly chan: no ~L~ i just wanted to blame someone
Karly chan: i dunno... not the world.. society.. i guess
Sir Ukyo: I see, so by saying that - you admit to yourself you are your own means of confinement.
Sir Ukyo: what one thinks, compared to what the many think - radically different. Strikingly similar.
Karly chan: @_@ im getting confused
Sir Ukyo: Karly - your readiness to blame me as a source of confinement only proves what confines you is yourself.
Karly chan: it does??... i'd just thought it be entertaining.. o_o im sorry
Sir Ukyo: I do find it entertaining ^_~
Sir Ukyo: Remember... Saito, Hiko, Aoshi.... Possibly even Shishio reside in my mind.
Sir Ukyo: ^_~ Don't take what you see as a friend for granted.
Karly chan: ~L~ i just wanted to blame you.. see what happened... i dunno will.... like... society, in a sense, is just messed up... who confines it, i dunt know
Karly chan: for granted?
Sir Ukyo: Karly since I've known you, you've always considered me a friend...
Karly chan: .. im sorry.. i just dont understand ;_;... i can understand so much of english but then the important things i cant
Karly chan: oh
Sir Ukyo: You take it for granted when you say things like "yer mah hero" and "remind me not to piss you off"
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles* Relax, I know you understand my english.
Karly chan: i try to
Karly chan: you just confusing me right now
Karly chan: for... example... i take you for granted
Karly chan: what does that mean?
Sir Ukyo: *chuckels* It appears I've unvailed a concept you don't yet understand.
Sir Ukyo: Karly, what do you think of me?
Sir Ukyo: In every sense - what is your conclusion about Tachi?
Karly chan: i dunno..im trying to find out
Sir Ukyo: Am I a nice man? Am I a fool? Am I funny? Am I intelligent.
Sir Ukyo: Ask yourself - what do I really know about him...
Sir Ukyo: Who is he... etc.
Sir Ukyo: These are things I ask myself about you at every chance I get to see you.
Sir Ukyo: I make sure I know who and what you are so I know where you'll be and who you'll be incase I ever have to find you - incase I ever need you, or incase I ever just... want you.
Sir Ukyo: These are the questions we fource ourselves to ask if we want to know someone - to really know them.
Sir Ukyo: To not take someone for granted is to take into acount what something is, and what it will become - and why.
Karly chan: ..ok.. ~clears throat~ ... in all reality, i really don't know you.. you can be someone's best friend , or worst enemy ... kind when needed, realisticly harsh when needed also. The way you think..no.. see things in such a different perspective... a pandora box.... of sorts.. you never know what might come out... and now let me read all your posting
Sir Ukyo: With people many moe questions come into play and it's not at all easy to find these answers.
Karly chan: i sort of understand now
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles* Katie said nearly those same words as in your paragraph...
Karly chan: ...really?
Karly chan: now im frightened
Karly chan: lemme write something before you post anything
Karly chan: Im sure you know some part of me... but at the same time you dont.. as well as myself... i can only know so much about you... but in all reality we need to be honest... some things over internet one can fake so easily..for example..i could tell you i understand something you say when i dont..or so could you..do you really know who i am?
Karly chan: do you really know the way i think?
Karly chan: you can say to yourself.. sure.. she cares.. sure she is kind.. but am i really?
Karly chan: .. maybe im just an idiot pretending to be something im not
Karly chan: same to you... somethings the internet can hide so well
Karly chan: now
Karly chan: the things i said
Karly chan: whether they where exactly like katie's or not
Karly chan: thats what i see in you
Karly chan: because in all reality,i've only seen some parts of you
Karly chan: whether you say
Karly chan: you have shown everything
Karly chan: or not
Sir Ukyo: "you can say to yourself.. sure.. she cares.. sure she is kind.. but am i really?"
Sir Ukyo: "but am i really?"
Karly chan: well, one can only see one thing at a time, to fully understand
Sir Ukyo: Except... what I ask myself about you is "but is she really...?"
Sir Ukyo: Nonsense. I see many things at one time...
Karly chan: im just making you question your views
Karly chan: really?
Karly chan: your special then.. ^^ im sorta slow at times
Sir Ukyo: *nods*
Karly chan: sometimes..i say things.. when i look back on them... im just like.. what?
Karly chan: .. one thing you should know about me
Sir Ukyo: You see Karly, the making of a person isn't based soley on how they behave or think.
Sir Ukyo: To understand this is to watch their thoughts and actiosn go aganst eachother.
Sir Ukyo: Take jeff. He says he is my friend, but clearly behaves otherwise.
Sir Ukyo: When he does what he thinks it seldoms succeeds because he doesn't understand that doing what your thinking is what and who you really are.
Karly chan: .. even if i do seem at your same mental level, or our conversations never cease, or sometimes, i seem like if im mature or whatever... ... im just learning.. i still need to take my steps
Sir Ukyo: The shock of seeing who and what he really is propells him further into his own turmoil.
Karly chan: i sorta understand
Sir Ukyo: I'm not saying you are on my level, or on a different level or trying to deny you your life or trying to change the way you live.
Sir Ukyo: All I'm saying is that I can see you take some things for granted.
Karly chan: ..well.. dont worry about the if i really am caring part..... and what do i see in you.. well.. will, or tachi.. i really love you for who you are... whether your evil, good, caring, wise, or maybe just big fat idiot and your posting fast ~L~ let me keep uppp!!
Karly chan: ok... thats just it.. what does.. granted mean?
Sir Ukyo: Granted means you assume something is what it is, and that what it is never changes.
Sir Ukyo: Like oh say... a Rock.
Sir Ukyo: ^_~
Sir Ukyo: The truth behind a rock is that it's only a fragement of a larger whole - a peice of someting.
Sir Ukyo: In ordr to become that rock it's gone through many many many changes.
Sir Ukyo: but to the average joe it's just something that is in the way, stubs the toes, and holds down loose papers.
Sir Ukyo: But a rock is far more... ^_~
Karly chan: no.. i..im sorry.. i dont think i take you for granted.. friendship wise.. does.. that mean i dont consider you as an evolving human being?..... i blamed you just to bug.. to bother.. im sorry if it was wrong... i told you your my hero.. because in that moment you where... ahh.... i dont even know what im saying.. im too afraid to sound like a big idiot to you that im starting to babble.. you wanna know something?.. i really admire you.. the way you are.. i see the change in you, how persistant you are.. and all sorts.. i'll shut up now... o_o
Sir Ukyo: Are you ready for a confession?
Karly chan: yes
Sir Ukyo: *hugs you and swings you around* ^_^ I'm JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!
Sir Ukyo: *lmao*
Karly chan: ò_ó
Karly chan: all this
Karly chan: and your kidding?
Karly chan: .. YOU MADE ME DOUBT YOU!
Sir Ukyo: Though the concept above is true and sound - it was allll based on a humor ^_^
Sir Ukyo: *lol*
Karly chan: YOU MADEME DOUBT MYSELF
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: i hate you now
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: No - you made you doubt you *l*
Karly chan: EXACTLY
Sir Ukyo: All I did was hold up that same mirror that showed you how beautiful you were.
Sir Ukyo: Remember that?
Karly chan: .... um.. yeah
Karly chan: well
Karly chan: ~SLAP~
Karly chan: BITCH
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: but you know something
Karly chan: you really are a pandora box
Sir Ukyo: I know alot of things ^_^
Sir Ukyo: *l* are you saying I have big hips?
Karly chan: yes
Karly chan: o.o
Sir Ukyo: *compares self in mirror* O_O! I"M FAT!
Karly chan: O_o;
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: no man
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles*
Karly chan: your way beyond fat
Karly chan: mmm
Karly chan: wait
Karly chan: something isnt fair here
Sir Ukyo: oh dear... I"m a behemoth
Sir Ukyo: o0 *breaks out buns of bronze*
Karly chan: you got half of my thoughts on what i think of you
Karly chan: .. you should do the same
Karly chan: its only fair
Sir Ukyo: and step and turn and jump and squeal and cry and diet and eat no meals.
Sir Ukyo: o0
Karly chan: and you know so!
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: oo
Karly chan: womanly diets are HORRIBLE
Karly chan: @_@
Sir Ukyo: *lol*
Sir Ukyo: So you want to know what I realy think of Karly?
Karly chan: yes
Karly chan: its only fair
Karly chan: at least
Karly chan: half of it
Karly chan: like i did
Sir Ukyo: Oh is it now? *lol*
Karly chan: yeah
Sir Ukyo: True words aren't pleasent, and pleasent words aren't true...
Sir Ukyo: Fortunately for you - if you want half and half I can talke one half of column A and half of column B and you shouldn't be to greatly dissapointed with yourself.
Sir Ukyo: ^_~ tricky how that works.
Karly chan: not every pleasent word isnt true.. some of it might be.. some of it might not
Karly chan: ~L~ oh so your'e saying that you think horrible things of me? @_@
Sir Ukyo: Have I said anything to that effect?
Karly chan: column A good
Karly chan: column B bad
Karly chan: Oo
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: i dunno
Karly chan: @_@
Sir Ukyo: No - I said one was pleasant , one was not.
Sir Ukyo: Be that good or bad to you is a relative term.
Karly chan: exactly.. it just makes me curious what do you really think of me
Sir Ukyo: Who knows how you'll feel about what something is? Only you...
Karly chan: yeah
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles* well let me tell you then.
Karly chan: ~nod~
Sir Ukyo: *puts a finger on your lips* Sssshhh...
Sir Ukyo: When I speak with you, I see something I can identify with... I see a young woman who is unsure of herself, as I am.
Sir Ukyo: I see a young woman who knows her bounds as a person, but doesn't accept them, because she is greedy.
Sir Ukyo: She wants more....
Sir Ukyo: I see someone who embodies passion, someone who simply -is- expression...
Sir Ukyo: She is frail and beautiful as the Lotus, strong and supple as bamboo...
Sir Ukyo: Knowing when to bend, and when to stand firm.
Sir Ukyo: But surrounding by a forest of so many other things which she can see, but not completely understand, the edges of who she is can be blurred from time to time...
Sir Ukyo: This is not to say that she's lost in her own disolusions, but rather she has yet to grow taller and stonger to gain perspective on the world around her...
Sir Ukyo: yet, she is able to peer though the canopy of the heavens and see what else lies beyond her own premonitions about the world...
Sir Ukyo: Those same insights cause her to blur farther, because she has not yet learned how to understand some of the things she is aware of... It keeps her slightly off balance...
Sir Ukyo: It causes self boubt, lack of confidence.... the bamboo bends over the lake and she sees herself.
Sir Ukyo: She only sees herself when she is miserable, and what she sees is what she feels she is...
Sir Ukyo: When she with draws ans stands tall again, she is stil unaware and leery of her own being because the only record of what she's is - is what she's seen of herself in such a sad state...
Sir Ukyo: But to those around her, she is beauftiful, she is smart..
Sir Ukyo: Carring and kind, willing to bear the burdens that others face with near unconditional respect and toleration because she hopes should she ever need - the same will be granted her...
Sir Ukyo: But then again.. she simply is what she is... a Bamboo tree that grows ivy and Lotus Flowers...
Sir Ukyo: Be that good or bad... it's up to her, it doesn't have to be either...
Sir Ukyo: She doesn't have to stay this way... she doesn't have to change either. She is who she is, and she can be what ever she'd like to be if she's willing to do what it takes to be what she desires..
Sir Ukyo: And lately... she's been growing like a weed ^_~
Sir Ukyo: There then - thats half of each column.
Karly chan: .. maybe..maybe its lost...... maybe it ..doesnt know where or what to do.. so many options.. .... well.. it doesnt matter.. that completely blew off my description of yourself..so.. when you least expect it, one day, i'll show up with a 5 page essay showing on who i see you as... o_o.. heh..jk... well... i dont know.. weed grows easy, lotus doesnt... maybe all she needs is to find a right direction.. its confusing in the forest...
Sir Ukyo: I suppose...
Sir Ukyo: But then again... it all depends on how you think.
Karly chan: well.. i must hand it to you.. in any case, it made me blush.. i never blush for things like this..i think i did.. the little.. prickly things that you feel in your cheek.. yeah thats it
Karly chan: maybe
Sir Ukyo: My problem is I know how to think in too many ways. Too much knowledge can be a burden at times. At others, it's an escape to a place where no one could ever find you..
Sir Ukyo: *lol* Well, blushing or not, I consider you a close friend none the less.
Karly chan: yeah.... in all its descriptions... all its splendor and beauty..in simple words... whether..i take you for granted, whether i grow weeds..it doesnt matter...i just like you will.. i just want you to be my friend.. thats all
Karly chan: ..and hey..if i keep growing weed.. we could sell those for people to get high with O_o
Sir Ukyo: Growing like a weed doesn't necesscarily mean you're growing "weed" or that you are a weed *l* - You've an odd sense of interpitational humor.
Karly chan: ~L~ i know, im just kidding
Sir Ukyo: ^_~
Karly chan: well.. at least i know half
Karly chan: and you frighten me
Sir Ukyo: Oh? Frightening am I? How Marvelous of me...
Karly chan: the only other person that knows so much about me is my best friend ari..its because we've shared so much.. and.. notin the wrong way >.<... but.. you know so much... when i havent really said much
Karly chan: you really are an excellent observer
Karly chan: not in thebad way!
Sir Ukyo: ^_~
Sir Ukyo: It's all just information to me. Some of it I like some if it I don't - but it's all just information.
Sir Ukyo: Thats all anything really is. *l*
Karly chan: its actually interesting.. you'd take up so much time to analyse someone.. maybe one day i could follow your example...
Karly chan: still...
Sir Ukyo: Understanding what it is, and then knowing what to do about it - thats teh tricky part.
Karly chan: yeah
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles* I leave subtle hints about who and what I am in everything I do ...
Karly chan: ^^;.. knowing your growing weeds......but then not really sure where.. that too
Karly chan: .. everyone says im changing..im just seeing things differently... maybe for better or wors
Karly chan: worst
Karly chan: but... i guess thats a part of life
Sir Ukyo: Very very few people pick up on these hints though. One would have to think like me to make sense of the clues I leave behind. much less be able to recognize those clues.
Sir Ukyo: Part of life it is indeed.
Karly chan: i see
Sir Ukyo: ^_^ Trust me. When my lifes work is complete you'll probably recognize your part in it *lol*
Sir Ukyo: But up till the day I die, I don't think anyone will understand more than half of me *l*
Sir Ukyo: If that *l*
Karly chan: i'll be more alert then... i'll need to start figuring out.. who will is... who is this strange man who keeps telling me things that confuses me!!
Sir Ukyo: After all - I am a genous ^_~
Karly chan: my part in your life?
Karly chan: i hope its good
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: I KNOW WHO YOU ARE
Sir Ukyo: *lol* Of course you know who I am *l* - but do you know me *grin*
Karly chan: YOUR WIL .E COYOTE!! the dude who says im a genious in road runner!!
Karly chan: im kidding
Sir Ukyo: ^_~ so am I.
Karly chan: but you know what
Karly chan: everytime
Karly chan: i believe i got to know who you where
Karly chan: you just say something to completely destroy that belief!
Karly chan: its like..a construction
Karly chan: your the.. disaster that destroys it ~L~
Karly chan: jk as well
Sir Ukyo: *lol*
Sir Ukyo: No... ^_~ I'm just information - what you think of me is up to you to destroy and create. The image of who and what I am in your mind was put there by you, only you can destroy it. ^_~
Sir Ukyo: but you can put my name on it and call me the demolition man *l*
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: nah
Karly chan: i'd rather call you will ^^
Karly chan: the pandora box
Sir Ukyo: *sniff* Tachi?
Sir Ukyo: *is reallly gonna change his name some day *l* *reeeely*\
Karly chan: hmm.. tachi is the name you give yourself... but..for now your real name is will
Karly chan: so
Karly chan: i'll call you will as long as you wear that name
Karly chan: when you change it to Tachi, then tachi i'll call you
Karly chan: ^^
Sir Ukyo: *chuckles*
Sir Ukyo: Fair enough. You're new and better name is Bob *l*
Karly chan: NO! ~SPAPS~ my real name is karla! and untill i decide to change it you WILL call me KARLA
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: *weep* damn
Sir Ukyo: ^_~
Karly chan: .. you wanna know something?.. in your words
Karly chan: ..are you ready for a confession?
Karly chan: ~L~
Sir Ukyo: *lol* sure...
Karly chan: in all reality, i think very highly of you.. so much to a point that i might admire... to me your way of seeing things irs very important.. same as how you see me... its important to me.. dont ask why, because i dont know myself... @_@ but it is.... there! Oo;
Sir Ukyo: *chuckels* I seee.
Karly chan: you see>
Karly chan: really?
Karly chan: Oo
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: ^^
Sir Ukyo: *puzzled expression* - How else could I read the screen? *grin*
Karly chan: oi
Karly chan: well.. thats it... o_o now, i hope you understand.
Karly chan: if not then.. you suck Oo;
Sir Ukyo: ^_~ I understand.
Sir Ukyo: Now watch as I attempt to overstand *falls* damnit...
Karly chan: ~L~ ~claps for a cheesy joke~ cute
Karly chan: @)@
Sir Ukyo: ^_~ You're too kind.
Karly chan: maybe..maybe not
Karly chan: o.o
Karly chan: who knows
Karly chan: ~twilight zone music playing in background~
Karly chan: OOOOOOH
Karly chan: ~l~
Sir Ukyo: ^_~
Karly chan: http://4.43.163.60/
Karly chan: i have no clue what it is.. they just sent it to me
Karly chan: must be funny
Karly chan: nm
Sir Ukyo: a fat chick just flashed me... O_O
Karly chan: i dunt know what that is
Karly chan: WHAT!?
Sir Ukyo: it's a naughty naughty web cam fulla fat asses *l*
Karly chan: WHAT!?!?!?
Karly chan: O.O
Karly chan: i dont see anything!!
Sir Ukyo: It's java feed.
Karly chan: uh
Karly chan: nm
Karly chan: dude
Sir Ukyo: takes time to load and when it does... *shudder* sheild thine eyes...
Karly chan: its a friend
Karly chan: ~L~
Karly chan: i know her
Sir Ukyo: o0 is she fat and prone to exposing her breasts to completely strangers?
Karly chan: o_o
Karly chan: i think i wasnt supposed to show that to you
Karly chan: ~l~
Sir Ukyo: *shudder* the horror... *closes window*
Karly chan: yes thank you
Sir Ukyo: Yes well.. I'm willing to forget it if you are...
Karly chan: ~L~ yes
Karly chan: i will
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The middle section is pobably the best measurement of her intelligence - but her willingness to apologise and accept defeat or an inferior status shows me she's not yet centered, not sure in who and what she is... But she's getting there...
Sunday, January 13, 2002
This is my own personal blog/diary/thinkpad/journal.
The other two are shared between my friends, and closer friends. Here is where I'll post my intuitave insights on my friends. Having been blessed with the ability to observe and learn from my observations my friends have prooved to be most valuable in provideing data with which to learn from as well as serve for my own personal testing ground.
Cruel as it may sound - we all do this to eachother at some point in time - I just do it more than everyone else because I have no beliefs that mandate I behave "morally" or "ethically". I don't particularly care - I don't value any one persons friendship over anothers and I don't think much of friends or friendship anyway.
My first subject is Jeffery Micheal Childs Egginton. Since I met him he seemed to want to be in control. I met Jeff in the tenth grade at Davis Highschool in Kaysville. Jeff intruiged me because he always wanted things he didn't have, but always knew how to trade things of no value to attain what he wanted. Jeff wanted computer software that I had, so in exchange for soft ware "i could hang out with him" - this was in thinking anyhow.
As I got to know jeff I realized he'd had a hard time trusting people and always wanted to be the exception, always the victum. Jeff was very hipocrytical, and he still is today. Through out the time I've known jeff I've read his email. I studied his vocal patterns, his manerisms. the things he looked at as he interacted with others... I learned what interested him, and why. After that, it was simple to guess his email passwords. I read his email since halfway through the 10th grade. He contiinually mocks me to my face and makes fun of me in his emails to others and wonders why I hang out with him... What he doesn't know is continually make his life a living hell with his own actions because I know what to tell his other friends to keep his social life in constant chaos. This causes him to cycle through friends every few years with out knowing why.
Diabolical I know, but hey, It's all for a reason. If Jeff could be made to understand whats going on with his life, half of which is my doing, he'd be a great person. He constantly says he doesn't think he's very smart, but he implies it at every opportunity. The funny thing is he doesn't pay attention to detail and it catchs him in the ass every time. If he paid more attention to what people say and why they say it then he'd know I've been fucking with him for the last 4 years....
Jeff is an idiot. But a good friend, and an endlass source of entertainment.
The other two are shared between my friends, and closer friends. Here is where I'll post my intuitave insights on my friends. Having been blessed with the ability to observe and learn from my observations my friends have prooved to be most valuable in provideing data with which to learn from as well as serve for my own personal testing ground.
Cruel as it may sound - we all do this to eachother at some point in time - I just do it more than everyone else because I have no beliefs that mandate I behave "morally" or "ethically". I don't particularly care - I don't value any one persons friendship over anothers and I don't think much of friends or friendship anyway.
My first subject is Jeffery Micheal Childs Egginton. Since I met him he seemed to want to be in control. I met Jeff in the tenth grade at Davis Highschool in Kaysville. Jeff intruiged me because he always wanted things he didn't have, but always knew how to trade things of no value to attain what he wanted. Jeff wanted computer software that I had, so in exchange for soft ware "i could hang out with him" - this was in thinking anyhow.
As I got to know jeff I realized he'd had a hard time trusting people and always wanted to be the exception, always the victum. Jeff was very hipocrytical, and he still is today. Through out the time I've known jeff I've read his email. I studied his vocal patterns, his manerisms. the things he looked at as he interacted with others... I learned what interested him, and why. After that, it was simple to guess his email passwords. I read his email since halfway through the 10th grade. He contiinually mocks me to my face and makes fun of me in his emails to others and wonders why I hang out with him... What he doesn't know is continually make his life a living hell with his own actions because I know what to tell his other friends to keep his social life in constant chaos. This causes him to cycle through friends every few years with out knowing why.
Diabolical I know, but hey, It's all for a reason. If Jeff could be made to understand whats going on with his life, half of which is my doing, he'd be a great person. He constantly says he doesn't think he's very smart, but he implies it at every opportunity. The funny thing is he doesn't pay attention to detail and it catchs him in the ass every time. If he paid more attention to what people say and why they say it then he'd know I've been fucking with him for the last 4 years....
Jeff is an idiot. But a good friend, and an endlass source of entertainment.
