Experiance & Adaptation.

I must confess at times it is difficult not to cry. It's even more difficult to remember how to cry once you've trained yourself to forget how too. The best of intentions do not always bring one to sucess. Infact one my go so far as to say that intention is the root of failure. I watched the interview with Brandon Lee at the end of The Crow, and he quoted something from a book he'd once read before his death near the end of the filming of that movie. He said "'Because we do not know when we will die, we think of life as an inexhaustable well.'" Whether or not the rest of the quote was still from the book or not I haven't determained but he went on to say, "And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember an afternoon of your childhood; an afternoon so vivid in your mind that you couldn't possibly conceive of your life with out it. How many more times will you the full moon rize, perhaps 20? Perhaps not even that - and yet it all seems limitless".

Today not unlike any other day many things happened, some good and some bad. Fuck the specifics however. All that I've learned will do me no good to record here, I need to keep it in my fucking head so I really remember it.

I will say this though. I have work of monumental proportions to do. How best to do it now has finally been illuminated. This change will painful.