Strip alert sucks.

I just spent 12 hours running around the flight deck like a chicken with his head cut off. I want a puppy, a girlfriend and some sleep.

Rocks & Dirt, SAND!

Sweet hell. It's mid august in Iraq. It's fucking warm, the camel spiders are everywhere. We're due home in about 60 days and I can't wait to not be here. 3 more years of this hell to go. I can't wait for Dec 12th 2009. I want my life back.

It's funny. Been reading over some of the past entries in here. I've changed alot. Still the same old me, but way more mature. All my planning turned out to be worthless. It's funny. Any time I try to draft the course of my life and then act it out it always goes wrong. I kept writing in options that weren't open to me.

As it stands now I am a marine, not planning to join the service some day. I am a helicopter mechanic, not interested in seeing what sort of prowess I can attain in the vocational elements of the professional world. All my big words and clever whits have finally found where they belong.

I've kinda dumbed down a bit. I did study zen, and still do. I'm on my 4th koan now. I had kensho while I was out here and it's been an amazing deployment.

I'm almost ashamed of my previous entries seeing how stupid i was, as if I had a clue. Used to figure everyone was fucked up but me, as if someone I was the one person who understood it all. I'm a retard ya'll, for real. I still know all sorts of crazy shit and know how to do a ton of shit, still been all over hells half acre, but I found whats important to me. I know what i wanna do, the life I want.

For the first time in a long time I know what i want in a woman. I know how to get myself to where the options are available. I'm not afraid to interact, to challenge any more.

Lifes pretty good. And the last few days have been very awesome with the down time we've had lately. I'm happy as a fat kid on a twinkie.